Thursday, May 31, 2012




When Mytre ran away from me, I was sure my heart would break. When I mentioned the Vision Quest I had spoken from within, without hesitation. And now, I have lost him. How could I have used such harsh words? I spent the rest of day inside the cave feeling worse than I could ever remember. How could I go from such wonderful heights of ecstasy and then plummet into deep despair. Had I lost all touch with my inner peace just because I had lost a man? However, he was not just any man. He was my Divine Complement, my Twin Flame. That is what the inner voice said, and my heart agreed.

I tortured myself through the entire day and into sunset, when I suddenly had a feeling of deep urgency and pending disaster. Something was about to happen or had just happened to Mytre. I calmed my mind and went inside to speak to the Mother. All I heard was “Send him healing love.” Then, I became terrified for that clearly meant that he was injured. But, where was he injured, and how? It was too late to follow his tracks, and I would only get lost myself. All I could do was spend most of the night worrying.

Then, I heard the Mother saying, “Drink some calming tea and sleep. You must be alert for tomorrow.” I did what she said and finally fell into a fitful sleep. I do not remember any dreams, nor did I get much rest. However, I woke up knowing that he had been injured, and I knew that I must find him. At sunrise, I packed all my healing herbs, poultices, more clothes, food and water. My pack was heavy, and I would not able to run. Therefore, I had to bring some kindling and my fire stones. He had walked off in the direction where the forest ended, and there could be nothing to burn.

As soon as it was light enough I started my journey. My pack was heavy and I had to go slowly to read his tracks. Some times there seemed to be no tracks, and I had to stop to consult the Mother. I walked all day, and almost till dark. I had never been to this area, so I had to stop and set up camp. There would be no use in both of us becoming injured. After I had eaten a small meal, I tried to go within, buy my growing fear for his safety did not allow me any information or much sleep.


It was mid-day, and I had to find a way to get off this ledge. Another night in the cold without food or water would be far too dangerous for my leg. I had not noticed the large gash in my leg, which was now infected, and I knew I had a fever. If I didn’t move, I would pass out again. I had to trust the Inner Voice. I could not abandon Mytria in this way, I could not abandon my duty, and I could not abandon my self.

As I looked around, I could see no means of escape. Therefore, I looked inside to ask the Inner Voice. Perhaps I was hallucinating, but as soon as I closed my eyes, I saw the image of my SELF in my Vision Quest. “Follow me and listen to the Mother,” he said as he moved along the ledge to my right. I would have to crawl and drag my right leg, as I could not damage it more by putting weight on it.

After what seemed like forever, I found a space between the edge of the ledge and a bolder that I could—very carefully—crawl along. Once I went around the bolder, I found a gentler incline toward the top. The ground here was more stable, and there was even some foliage to grab onto. The Inner Voice reminded me to listen to the Mother again, and so I did. I touched the earth in the manner which Mytria had taught me and asked for Her guidance.

Instantly, I had a feeling to follow a certain trough in the earth, which afforded be enough security to frequently rest. I fought off my dizziness from my fever and lack of water, and contacted the Mother with my every choice of movement. My progress was very slow, but I was gradually moving up the side of the cliff. However, it was getting dark. I had to get to the top while there was enough light to see what I was doing.

I realized that I was going slowly for the sake of my leg, but I had to move more quickly to reach the top before dark. I closed my eyes for a moment to remember my vision. This version of me could move without even touching the ground. If I could BE that me, I could trust my every movement without hesitation. It took a while to envision my self in that manner, but I gradually began to feel a light about my form. I slowly opened my eyes to see that my body and the cliff around me were glowing.

I pushed aside my doubts of “hallucination” and chose to believe my experience. Now, I knew exactly where to place my hands and my good leg. There was no hesitation, no fear, no adrenalin, and no pain. I was in some sort of trance that allowed me to become ONE with the cliff. It almost felt as if the cliff was assisting my movement. When I looked up and saw an overhanging ledge, I did not fear.

Instead, I easily found an alternate route that allowed me to easily crawl over the top and onto flat ground. I rolled away from the cliff and I pulled myself over to a huge rock that held the heat of the day. I pushed myself against the warm rock and patted it to thank the Mother. Then, I looked up into the starry sky under which Mytria and I had fallen asleep many times and saw my body of light embracing hers. With this image in my mind, I fell into a deep sleep.


We realized later that we were very close to each other, but did not know it. However, this physical distance was necessary for us to bridge the etheric gap that still existed between us. We both looked into the starry sky and thanked the Mother for assisting us. Even though our bodies were apart, our hearts and minds were joined as we fell asleep. In fact, we had the same dream, or was it a vision.

We found ourselves back in the Core of the Mother, at the exact moment of our “accidental” merging. Now, after all we had been through, being merged into one person felt even stronger. We were both different people now. We had both survived and successfully completed our Initiations and had conquered our inner demons, which made our love even stronger.

As we stood as one, looking into each other’s eyes, the Mother came to us. We thought it was to bless us, but it was actually to give us our next assignment.

“My beloved children,” She said to us both, “You may think your long journey has ended, but it has actually just begun. I need you both to help me, as you have both become my allies of transmutation. You have transformed yourselves, and now I must ask you to assist me to transmute my Planet.”

We were both deeply honored, but somehow worried. Was there something in Her voice that made us concerned that we could not stay together? NO, we would not allow that to happen. After all we had been through, we would never part again—NEVER!

We both awoke to the hint of dawn. There was not enough light for Mytria to read the tracks, but we were joined into one being again. Therefore, she simply followed the call of my love. It was mid day when we rejoined again.


When I awoke from my dream/vision, I knew Mytria was near. I touched the land to call her through the earth and sent my love out to her direction. In fact, I could see in my mind exactly where she was, just as she told me later that she could see me in the same way. I pulled my self up the hill a bit so that I could more easily she her approach. I found a strong stick and some how got myself to my feet. I would not greet her lying on the ground like a wounded animal.

It was then that I saw her walking towards me. When she saw me, she laid down her heavy pack and ran to me as fast as she could. When we met our hearts burst with the love that we thought we had lost, only to regain—stronger than ever. We held each other so tight that we seemed to be one body, as Mytria sobbed onto my chest. I tried not to cry, but my joy could only be expressed in the manner.

We stood there for a long time. All my pain was temporarily gone within the merging of our bodies. In fact, I felt a great healing force coming from her and into my body. As she held me and wept, I felt my fever diminish and my leg begin to heal. Then, I realized that she was draining herself too much in her effort to heal me. I lovingly pushed her away, keeping my hands on her shoulders.

“Thank you Beloved, I can heal myself the rest of the way. If you could just assist me to that shady tree…”

“Yes,” she spoke as she looked into my eyes.

Between her support and the stick I had found, I was able to hobble over to the tree and sit down on the earth between two large roots. Mytria kissed me on the forehead and ran up to get her pack.
“I will have to set this leg before I dress it,” she said apologetically.
“I am ready,” I replied.
Before I knew it, the leg was set, my wound was cleaned, wrapped in herbs, which where covered with a tree bark, and the sticks I had found were replaced and held in place by a clean sash.

“When we get back to OUR camp, I can make you a proper cast,” she said as she gently patted my leg.

We decided to stay there for the remainder of the day and take off to OUR home at sunrise the next day. It was an excellent decision, for that night under the stars was beyond words. Some how we managed to make love. In fact, we made love again and again, each time going deeper and deeper into each other’s very Soul, in fact, into our joint Soul.

Mytria had heard of Divine Complements during her Temple studies, and told me all she knew. And then, we had to make love again, which is when it happened. Mytria tried to keep it from me, but I knew we made a child then. How could we not? The heavens almost opened and sent her down. Yes, it would be a daughter, our daughter, our love-child.

When morning came, I felt almost healed. That is until I tried to walk.  

Through Suzanne Lie, PhD


Image by Ute Posegga-Rudel, Copyright ©2012

We Are from the Domain of Fire and Light, of Unity of all Souls and Sacred Divine Core Essence in the Andromeda Galaxy.

Dear Ones,
Today we come to you with an important mission. And we believe that this mission meets your needs, visions and deepest hopes, regarding the development of your planet and your own evolution.

We would like to state, that we are communicating with you to remove every fear and all doubts that you may carry, - and if you do, it is a very old fear and doubt – regarding our positive and benevolent participation and support in your ascension process.

We are indeed here to  give you the rescue and comfort of the light, if necessary, in case you feel violated or harmed by forces who do not support your evolutionary process.

We are here to make sure that you and all beings on earth and Gaia herself, are being flooded with Light, the Light of the Divine Creator, because it is your destiny to continue your path with Him. Or Her - as many consider the Creator to be one with the Goddess, the Creatrix.

Please consider the urgency and necessity, to understand rightly the meaning of ascension. Although many believe, that this is only about resuming a more galactic disposition, in a Star Trek like fashion, we feel urged to explain, that your ascension process is actually in the highest meaning a spiritual one. It is a process of spiritual growth, and spiritual growth is the gradual acceptance and integration of Divine Light-Consciousness, far beyond the shape of a vessel, referred to as body. Body is only a medium for expression  and it is a tool to make experiences. But in truth you are infinite Consciousness, and this Consciousness cannot be contained in a body.

In our perspective there is too much focus in your ascension scenario on the human galactic races as merely appearing as a such and such body. Of course, the body might be a necessary instrument in many dimensions, especially the lower ones, but it always remains an instrument. It can be refined according to the state of your consciousness so that it serves this state of consciousness appropriately, but even then, the body is still an instrument.

But when you recognize yourself as being infinite Consciousness you are truly on your way of evolution. Otherwise you would just repeat what you repeated since many Millenniums.

It is Consciousness, from where everything originates. So why would you then identify with the end-“product”, a body, and confine yourself with it.

Now we must clarify what Consciousness is. The Consciousness that we want to discuss, is not just a mental faculty, things you think and you are aware of. This would be merely a matter of the functioning brain. In this way you would understand Consciousness as a product of the brain, but which again would imply that you are your body and nothing more.

We understand that - because of the very long indoctrination which has been laid upon you - it is very difficult to think or envision and intuit an existence prior to the body-mind. But indeed, you ARE existing prior to it, always have, even if this knowing has been obscured for a long time, so that you hardly can remember it as an actual experience.

Rudiments of this knowing however are still laying dormant as, you could say, very small elements in your DNA, so small that it has been never discovered by your scientists. However a spark is a spark which can be easily ignited if you are inviting this process.

Each of these sparks is the remembrance of Divine Consciousness, that exists prior to your body-mind and in which your body-mind arises. Yes, your thoughts, your emotions, your body, including your brain are arising in this Divine Consciousness. It is the Source of all contents you ever can imagine or have experienced. Your heart is able to participate in It, if you have purified it from past memories and false presumptions about your own origin and and who you are. If you allow pure Source to inform your brain-based human consciousness, and if you align your heart with it, Source Light, pure and undivided, pristine and unbroken, can enter your being, and awaken the dormant sparks of Divine Consciousness in your DNA. 

It is as with water, when 2 drops touch one another: it becomes one greater unity. Divine Consciousness can abide your heart, while your heart will abide in It, as you are an emanation of that Divine Consciousness. You are not a lesser creation, although you have been told so and your present body is indeed. But this Divine Spark has never been completely destroyed.

Know that we are here to serve this ignition, the ignition of your Divine Consciousness, not just a widening and growing of your limited brain-consciousness. If you allow this process in the first place, your human brain will grow automatically too. But if you are focused merely on your human brain development, you will limit yourselves to something that you are not, because it is only a fraction of your true Origin and Nature.

However it is you who choose, which path you will walk, but in order to make a true choice you need to be informed about your possibilities.
To show them to you, is our mission.
Choose well! With the fires of ascension your opportunities are grand. What you choose now, will shape your immediate future and will have consequences. We ask you to be aware of them.

At your loving service!
We are the Light Beings from the Andromeda Galaxy!

Message conveyed by Ute


Copyright©. All rights reserved: Ute Posegga-Rudel, 2012
Sharing of this message is only allowed together with this information and without any changes. If you have questions, please contact me via Thank you.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012


Image by Ute Posegga-Rudel, copyright ©2012
Watch on YouTube (recommended) 

Dearest ones, 
we are the Arcturians!

It is now high time to prepare, to prepare for the multi-layered process of shifting on all levels of  your reality. Yes, all  shifts always start on the level of thought, a thought that has being dreamed in the Heart of God. From there all truly Divineprojects of creation are being initiated, and then all the other chain reactions are following, down to the level where the initial thought has been aiming towards.

This process of creation is now manifesting increasingly on your world, and many of you have been feeling the new great waves of light which have been arriving in the recent days and which still continue to arrive. They  are the messengers not only of your shifting consciousness, but also of the shifting of your bodies and the shifting of Gaia’s body. This shifting will continue also in other areas of your life, so that your daily routine might be disturbed by these  changes.

However do not think that there will be one major  catastrophic event leading to the total destruction of your world. Yes, there will be  disturbances in all kind of areas of your life, but if you have been preparing, you will  find ways and the strength how to manage changes and transitory events who require to let go what has been familiar to you.

You see, changes in your outer world are just  that,  changes which do not touch what YOU yourself are.  However, as long as you identify with  outer appearances solely, when they are changing, it is difficult to accept this with a serene mind, as you are convinced in this  case, that YOU yourself are being undermined and deprived somehow of parts of yourself, whereas in truth it is only about your familiarity with habits and environments.

Therefore it is important, that you are centered in yourself, in the heart of your very being and not allow changing circumstances to take away your equanimity. Trust in a shift that happens in a way that it is benign for you. Remember, everything is possible, and if you connect yourself with Gaia, being grounded in her and one with her in your heart, she will find ways to gently provide protection and fulfill your needs.

At the same time, it is important, that you learn to let go of your 3dimensional world as being your undoubting reality, whereas it is only an unhappy dream in a low density. While you let go, you are free to dream your new Divine world and to free yourself from the errors of what you are not.

Your new reality in the higher dimensions will be very different, and what is now still a matter of course, will be gone  completely. So be prepared to be willing to let go,  what you still consider to be so called “necessities”. This is not about a world that collapses and is waiting to be rebuilt with the old same parameters like in your past. This is about the arising of a completely new world.

Naturally, when you are willing to let go the signs of your present world as being irreplaceable because you do not want to hold on to a fading false world, you are already on your way to dream your new world without limitations, - in the most ideal case. Because if you do not impose any limitation on your deepest heart desires how your new world should look like, miraculous things can happen.

We recommend therefore that you, if you have not yet done so, practice daily and center yourself in your feeling heart and observe and understand that the things around you do not really belong to you, they never did. Let go of all ideas of “having”, but concentrate on “being”. And while you allow the feeling of being to expand, start dreaming your new world, a world which will be much lighter and vibrant, where  all the things and objects, you are now clinging to, cannot exist anymore, because of a new and higher vibration!
Start preparing yourself now for the great transition, and in case you experience disruptions in your daily life, do not hold on to what once was functioning so far. Do not try to recreate the old. Let it go. Be creative and put all your energy and heart in new ways of living, working and  cooperating with one another.

Remember, that in the first place your own vibration will be changed and increased, and with that you would not be happy with anything you presently enjoy and play with. The massive energy waves and light are there to be received by you to increase your own  vibration and light quotient. This is the fundamental work you need to do, to go as easily as possible through the coming changes. The light is altering your consciousness, and with a new consciousness your view of the world and your understanding of it will flow with the shift.

This shift has already started, and it will  continue over a longer period of time. So do not settle into any step you will have done at any moment, but be prepared to  exist in an ongoing shifting of your world, by being centered in your heart. Share this place of peace with everybody and be united in love with one another.

Dearest ones, now your true humanness is challenged to emerge, and it is already emerging, you know it and you cannot  deny it anymore, as it is  happening with each single one of you who are here to participate in this great transition.

Be Blessed! We share our love with you, it is the unconditional Love, this very  special and precious vibration which embraces you now and which is established on your earth. Always remember, that all the changes in your world are embraced and are happening in this Field of unlimited Divine Love. They do not occur outside of It, they occur because Love has already settled down in your realm.

We are the Arcturians!

Message conveyed by Ute 


Copyright©. All rights reserved: Ute Posegga-Rudel, 2012
Sharing of this message is only allowed together with this information and without any changes. If you have questions, please contact me via Thank you.




When Mytria turned away without even answering my question and walked into the cave I was enraged. Who did she think I was, some toy that she could play with and discard when I became boring? Without another thought I turn and walked away as fast as I could. In fact, walking was not fast enough, so I began to run. I had not realized what good condition I was in after my time on the land, but I ran until it was almost sunset before I became fatigued.

The running had felt good; it felt real. Also, I was proud of myself that I didn’t stay there and humble myself even further. I had been following her around like a child long enough. I was a MAN, a Protector who had a bright future in the Military. How could I have become so lost, so ensnared in the trap of a woman’s arms? I guess it was time to go back to being myself. This time had been a fun fantasy, but I was now for reality, for duty.

I continued to walk at a very pace as the sun continued to move below the horizon. I was so engaged in my anger, self pity and, I hate to admit it, fear, that I was not paying any attention to the land. In my effort to forget about Mytria, I was trying to forget everything she had shown me. Then it happened…

I did not even notice how close I was standing to a huge precipice, nor did I notice the loose rocks under my feet. Then, before I could come out of my self-pity, I began to fall. Fortunately, the rocks tumbled beneath me so I did not drop straight down, but I could see a steep ledge coming up below me. If I went over that ledge I would be gravely injured or die. I grabbed desperately at the surrounding roots and plants, but they all broke off with my grasp.

Finally, I got ahold of a large enough root to bear my weight, but not for long. I had to find a way to land on that ledge, but it was over to my right. The surrounding cliff was all loose rocks, so I would have to create a controlled fall—like I had learned in the military. Perhaps I could swing from the root so that I would fall on the ledge, but I had to avoid the loose rocks. I had to decide NOW, as the root was giving way.

I focused my attention and intention on the destination of my “fall,” swung the root a bit to the right and jumped/fell. I did land on the ledge, but with such force that I felt my right leg break beneath me. I almost lost my balance, but somehow leaned against the wall of the ledge until I felt secure. I carefully sat down to assess the condition of my leg.

I was only wearing the short robe, tied at the waist with a sash, which Mytria had made me from her plant material. The very thought of her name brought not anger, but overwhelming grief. What had I done? Why had I become so angry? No, the proper question was, why had I become so afraid? However, this was not the time to ponder my erratic behavior. This was the time to think about my survival. I had only the clothes on my back. Some military man to run off into the wilderness with no supplies, not even a knife.

I pulled my self over to some long sticks, put them on either side of my leg and wrapped my sash around them to somewhat steady my leg. I would have to find a way to set it myself, if I lived that long. There was only a dim light and it was becoming cold already. I had to protect my body from going into shock. There was only a small ledge and loose dirt around me. Therefore, I dug myself into the surrounding dirt, leaving out my leg to avoid infection. I had no food, no water, no supplies and no tools. Furthermore, I had totally lost all touch with Nature and had no idea where I was.

All I could do not was sleep so that my body could begin to heal itself. I would have to control my mind and calm my breathing. I felt the adrenaline coursing through my body, which would keep me alert, when I needed to remain calm. My wound was not fatal, unless it got infected, which was a huge possibility in these circumstances. I would have to ask the Mother for help. Did I actually have that thought?

It was in that exact moment that I had the first experience of my “higher self.” I knew that my brain had that thought, but it was not the same brain that hysterically ran off like a frightened dog.

“Do not judge yourself,” came an unbidden thought.

And then, I had the most amazing experience of unconditional love, at least it seemed that way. Perhaps it was Mytria, for she was the only one in my life that made me feel that way.

“NO, it is I,” continued the inner voice.

I had heard about the inner voice before. Some people totally changed their lives and became very spiritual, whereas others became sick, confused, angry and frightened. I realized then that I had been in the later group. I had been unable to perceive any form of inner world. Even during my time with Mytria, I was communicating with the Mother Planet, who was underneath and around me.

Never before had I imagined a reality within my form other than the makings of a physical form. With these last words I started to drift off into sleep. At least, I thought it was sleep. Maybe it was a hallucination or maybe I was dying. However, now I know that it was the Truth.

Truth, that was a word that was just as dubious as the word Trust. I had trusted Mytria, totally and without question. Why had the mere suggestion of a Vision Quest set me into such an emotional state? That question was the last thought I had before I passed out, went to sleep, or had a Vision!

In my vision, I was alone on the land. It was the same land that I had shared with Mytria, but it was filled with light. Everything had a soft aura around it and seemed to whisper to me as I passed by. I, too, had a glow around me, and my body seemed to be made of light and it was almost transparent. I looked down to see if my leg was healed and found that, yes, it was totally fine, but my feet were not totally touching the ground. I was moving in a walking, floating motion, almost like treading water in our wonderful lake.

Again a pang of overwhelming grief overtook me, and I bolted into consciousness. What have I done? How could I have ruined the only good thing in my life? Why was I so afraid that she was tired of me?

“Because you were tired of your self,” came that damned voice.

Then, I realized that I had damned my own inner voice, my own self. Suddenly, I began to realize all the ways that I had damned myself through out my entire life. Finally, I realized that I do NOT like killing.

I do not like killing other people, I do not like destroying their homes or disrupting their property. I do not like destroying anything or any one. I don’t want to be a destroyer. I thought I would grow up to be a protector, but instead I became an enemy of people and beings that were “different” from me—but where they really different?

They all had a heart, or maybe two, they all had brains, many had much larger brains than mine, and they ALL had families. AND, I had destroyed them, as well as their families. How could I ever forgive myself? How could I ever be the person that I saw in my Vision? Yes, it was a Vision. At least I could own that.

“It is not a Vision, it is the Truth,” I heard inside.

“What Truth, the truth that I was a destroyer or the truth that I was having a vision?” Now, I was arguing with my inner voice.

“The Truth is that you ARE the person that you saw in your Vision,” whispered the voice within.

After that I think I passed out. However, I did awaken with those final words of “You ARE the person that you saw in your Vision in my heart.” Yes, amazingly enough, these words, this Truth, was still in my heart, right next to my love for Mytria. That thought jarred me fully awake to a mid-day sun. I pulled myself out of the dirt and started to take a military assessment of my situation, when I felt Mytria’s love.

Even though, I had fallen off a cliff to avoid her love, it was right where it had ALWAYS been. It was the love she had for me that had forced me to find the love I had for myself. Therefore, I pushed aside my old way of being. After all, it was that combative attitude that had gotten me into this fix. Then, my Protector self came into play. I had to protect Mytria, but I had to stay alive to do so.

“What about the planet? Do you have to protect Her too?”

It appeared that even when I was totally conscious and in broad daylight, the inner voice was still active. Did I have the courage to listen to it?

Through Suzanne Lie, PhD

Monday, May 28, 2012





We slept together in the small alcove with her worn bedding. However, she had put something underneath it, and it was incredible warm and soft. She slept as sounding and sweetly as a baby. I, of course, slept very little at all. First, my mind would not stop. Everything that I had ever believed in, all the structure, lessons, discipline and obedience that I had grown up with had been revealed as the old paradigm for my past life.

As l lay there with her warm body next to mine, in fact, VERY close to mine, I knew that I was changed forever. I had no idea what I had changed into, but I was positive that the “me” I used to be had died a sudden death. As I lay in the warm, darkness with the sent of her body filling my heart, I reviewed my life. I was born to a military family. There was no choice as to what I would do. Of course, I would be a military person. It was our family’s legacy to protect our world, our way of life.

However, since we came to this planet, our reality had vastly changed. For the first time in my life, which was about 90 of your years, making me a young adult, I did not KNOW what my life would be. Before our people were able to “let our guard down” and feel safe in our new home, I had an important contribution. However, as I saw others settling down and totally changing their perspective on life, I held strongly to the indoctrination that I had had since birth.

Maybe I was a unique person, and maybe I could find a unique experience of life that was different from all the generations of our proud and brave heritage? That kind of thinking had been hidden in my brain since I was a small child. Since then, I had never allowed those thoughts to come to the surface. Then, I literally ran into a woman, experienced her entirely unique experience of life. It was than that those hidden, childhood thoughts began prying their way to the surface.

How could I possibly push aside all that I had stood for, all that I thought defined me a powerful man, and all that I thought I had loved? Now, in one very long night, I had become a totally different person. However, I did not know this new person, so I had no idea of who I was or what I would do. I only knew that I could not go back to our village in this state of confusion.

As if she had heard my thoughts, Mytria rolled over to face me with opened eyes and smiled. Now there was no question. Not only could I not return to a life that had become barren of meaning, I could not leave that smile.

Mytria quietly got up and started her small fire. I watched as she put water in her small pan to make OUR tea, then went outside, likely to wash. Without her next to me, I felt lonely. How could that be? I had just met her, but felt like we had always been together.

While she was gone, I went to my pack and got my communication device. However, it did not work here. Perhaps it is the cave, I thought as I rose to go outside to use it. Before she even turned around, she said, “Your device won’t work here. There is an etheric shield around this area, and no technology works here. Believe me, I tried.” When she turned toward me to continue speaking I experienced that same feeling of recognition and any doubts I had about staying vanished.

“You have decided to stay?”

“Do you always read my thought,” I said with a smile in my voice.

“Only when you are thinking about me,” she smiled in return. “Are you avoiding my question?”

“Yes,” I said. “I was thinking that I should ask you first.”


“Yes, I should ask you or yes I should stay?”

“Yes, I would love to get to know you and show you my world.”

“I will have to tell them that you are safe and I am not returning—yet.”

“Then you will destroy that device?”

I had not thought of making my decision so permanent, so unalterable, but I realized that the kind of change I was facing would take my total commitment.


“Would you like to help me find some eggs? I will ask the birds if they can surrender one for us.”

After we had eaten the surrendered eggs and more delicious plants, which she had seasoned with her unknown herbs, she showed me the portal out of the energy field and turned to go back to her home.

“Aren’t you going with me to make sure that I destroy the device?” I teasingly said.

“I trust you.” She said as she turned away.


Her trust was the most amazing part of my experience. Not only did she totally trust me, which she said was because she knew me, she also totally trusted Nature. She lived her every moment in unity with the planet and the flora and fauna which whom she shared her life. There was no differentiation between what was alive and what was thing. Everything, even a rock, was alive in her world.

I wanted to share her world, but my scientific mind rebelled at such novel thinking. I had never realized how indoctrinated I was until I tried to change my mind. On the other hand, my body showed no resistance to change. I quickly forgot about my uniform and only wore what I normally slept in. The weather was usually very warm in the day and cold at night, but our bed was always warm.

When it was not too cold, we would sleep outside and she would show me all the Star System she had found. I was able to fill in many of the official names, but I usually preferred her names for them. In the day, we took long walks so that she could show me all the territory she had mapped. I assisted her with that. There was a plant that grew by a nearby river, which she had learned to “beat” into a kind of paper and she would write on it with “ink” that was sap from a certain tree.

Other plants could be dried and woven into a cloth, of which she made me an amazingly comfortable garment. She also showed me where all the eatable plants where, as well as the source of her honey. She showed me how to be so still that a bird would land on my shoulder and so quiet that I could hear the beating of my heart.

Fortunately, I was not useless. I had the strength that she lacked and a few tools, which allowed us to make our home even more comfortable. Yes, it was OUR home. We lived in it as one person, sharing all chores without any conflict or duty. If something needed to be done, we did it. However, we had our specialties. If we needed something built or moved, I was called in. On the other hand, if we needed to consult the Mother, she was called in.

Then one day she told me that it was time for me become ONE with the Mother Planet. I told her that I had no idea how to do that, and quite frankly, I did not think the Mother wanted to become ONE with me.

“How can you say that?” she said in a shocked voice.

“I am not pure, like you. I have killed many beings and destroyed much land. I have been a warrior where the love that you speak of is a weakness and the trust that you hold is mere foolishness.”

“Do YOU feel that way?”

I had to think before I answered her. She deserved a true response, and I did not know my truth yet. Hence, all I could say was, “I did feel that way once, but that me is no-more. I don’t know this new me enough to answer your question. I do believe you, and I see the great strength that you have gained not by domination, but through surrender. However, I don’t think it is possible for me to connect with something as vague as the Great Mother.”

“You do not need to surrender to Her, for I am Her representative. Therefore, you can surrender to me. It is often that way with men. Their minds are filled with protection and duty. Only deep love with a woman can allow them to release their protections and totally surrender.”

“How did you know that I deeply love you? I don’t even think I knew it myself until you said the words.”

Without a word spoken, she took me into our cave to give me the “proof” I needed.

As we merged through our love making, our consciousness intermingled so deeply that I could feel how she communed with all life. With this feeling shared between us, she showed me how to touch the land to find water, to smell a plant and put it to my heart to determine if it was safe to eat, how to ask a bird to surrender an egg, how to read the weather long before it changed and how to look into my SELF.

“Your relationship with the Mother depends on your relationship with your SELF.” She told me again and again. At first, the relationship with my SELF could only come as a by-product of my relationship with her. I had never been taught to have a relationship with my SELF. I was taught to follow orders, fulfill my duty and obey my commanding officers. I had spent my life being the “effect” of an external “cause.” If I was successful in my endeavor, I was happy and proud of myself. If I failed in my duty, I was ashamed and angry with my self.

I had not heard of the “greater” or “higher” version of my SELF that Mytria spoke of. The only greater part of me would be my fellow warriors, and my higher self was my commanding officers. I lived on the outside of me. Inside of me were bones and blood and organs that somehow survived their myriad wounds. I had no concept of a spirit me, or the etheric me that Mytria said she merged within the Core. In fact, I had no concept of that experience other than it being a “sexy” dream.

However, I had finally trusted some one. I trusted Mytria absolutely and completely. I trusted that she could make my energies rise up from my spine into my heart, or even into my mind. However, I had no concept that I could accomplish this without her help. It was this concept that disturbed me greatly. Was I becoming hypnotized by someone who was showing me a vision of reality that could never be mine?

Again, she read my thoughts. “I think you have had enough for now. It is time for you to go on a vision quest.”

“A vision quest? What is that,” I said in an angry fashion. She has tired of being my teacher, as I had become weak in her eyes, I thought. This entire experience was a fantasy, an excuse to ignore my duties. What had I been thinking? How could I dare to be different than all the men in as many generations as I could count? A vision quest, HA, get out of my home is more like it.”

Mytria did not engage in my inner battle. She merely turned and went into the cave. 

Through Suzanne Lie, PhD